Mind Spark #5 - Influence Starts with Listening: A Quiet Superpower
- Shujian Zhang
- Apr 16
- 2 min read
Updated: 4 minutes ago
Inspired by an interview on Youtube titled “Influence Without Authority”@kedaibiao (Link)
Three powerful tools can elevate the influence by building trust, understanding, and connection: 1) Listening: Building connection through presence; 2) Empathy: Understanding before persuading/inspiring; 3) Curiosity: Creating influence through questions.
While driving this morning, I listened to a Vlog titled Influence Without Authority. The guest Leon Liu shared three tools to elevate one’s influence: listening, empathy, and curiosity. I only completed the section about listening while driving as I had a relatively short commute, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the first tool promptly.
Listening serves four purposes/types: appreciation, comprehension, empathy, and evaluation. This framework is frequently applied in interpersonal communication and active listening training.
Listening for Appreciation involves enjoying or finding sensory pleasure in sounds, such as music or stories, focusing on the aesthetic or emotional experience.
Listening for Comprehension involves understanding and retaining information from lectures, instructions, or directions for learning or practical application.
Listening with Empathy involves emotionally connecting by being fully present and attuned to the speaker’s feelings and perspective. For example, it involves understanding the emotions behind a friend's painful experience.
Evaluative Listening entails critically examining speech to make judgments. Often used in debates, presentations, or proposals, it emphasizes logic, evidence, and reasoning to determine the message's validity or persuasiveness.
Like the host (@kedaibiao), I used to overlook empathic listening, often confusing it with evaluative listening, especially in emotionally charged situations. For example, when my 3-year-old daughter came to me in tears, my instinct was to ask, "What happened?" or "How can I help?" But sometimes, she didn't need solutions; she just needed a comforting hug and someone to sit with her feelings.
This understanding has also influenced how I engage in workplace discussions. I've learned that active listening, being fully present without interrupting or rushing to offer solutions, builds trust and fosters open communication. When people feel genuinely heard, they're more likely to share and consider new ideas openly (more reflections on active listening can be found in my previous blog: Navigating the Complexities of People Management).
Want to strengthen your connections to influence others? Begin by practicing empathetic listening today.
Thanks for sharing the insights! Listening with empathy seems the most important step among the four.